leah’s heart…

whew!

just came from a really CHALLENGING challenge hosted by PMA..
the "PMA-Loakan challenge 2006."
thanks to sir neps, sir dennis and everyone at pma hu gave us a taste
of what i call as "a military life." hehehehehe…

from pistol and m-14/16? firing, we were asked to try their obctacle race..nalamog-lamog ang lola leah niyo sa sobrang dali ng pinagawa ‘dun..akalain mo bang, tatakbo ka then, aakyat with matching balancing sa log!? my gosh…thank god, we have cadette team mates hu helped me hurdle those obstacles..hehehe…sana lang, hindi sila napilayan..at nanakit ang likod sa gaan ng lola leah niyo..hehehe…at eto pa..bago kami kumain e, mega may relay pang pinagawa..talon, takbo at mega hilo naman ang inabot namin..how do you call dat sir? helicopter??? try it guys..mawawala kayo sa mundo..hahahaha! it’s either, ma-wendang ka, matumba at humilata na lang for life o lumipad ang isip…nakakahilo talaga..(chek out my photos, i posted some..)

oh, by the way…it was a great experience eating with everyone of what they call as "boodle fight."

well, mahirap and tagatak talaga ang pawis..but, we enjoyed the pma loakan challenge 2006..

was able to experience the physical pain a cadette has to undergo to pass their course..and, enjoyed the beauty of nature and fresh air inside the academy..

i’d like to say thank you to ate malen kasi, kung hindi siya naging masipag sa pagpapaalala about the challenge e, hindi talaga ako pupunta..hehehehe! and, congrats sa iba pang mga media ladies hu, like me e, enjoyed the game..

to the cadets and cadettes hu patiently helped us during the half day challenge and to r other team mates from pldt and smart..thank you..

to pma…we look forward for another challenging "challenge."

hehehehehe…

hawak-kamay by yeng constantino

sa mundo ng kawalan
hawak-kamay, hawak-kamay
sa mundo ng kawalan…

hope you enjoyed singing with me..

hmmmm…

have you ever tried being caught in a situation like, you wake up one morning
realizing that, u’r falling for someone?
but you can’t do anything but just to nurture that feeling..
keep it to yourself and, enjoy his presence as long as he’s still around…
‘coz you know in your heart that it can never be the two of you…
i have my own reason in saying so..

i tried ignoring his feelings for me but, i can’t lie to myself..i’m starting to fall for him.. but, there’s a big but!!!!!! how do i say this..

mmmm..i enjoy his company..
what i love most about him is that, he makes me laugh..

this is not the first time i’m caught in a situation like this…
i survived those times and, wat scares me this time is….duh…
i’m afraid if i can survive this one…

"GOD understands we are not strong all the time.
He knows that sometimes all we can do is rest on HIS arms
as HE takes us thru the journey of life."

ala lang…elmo sent this message a minute ago while checking my
mail..so i decided to check my frendzter acount and post it instead..
a very inspiring message..

kung minsan, you really can’t help but ask all the why’s, how’s and how come, that you could think of..mahirap din kung nasanay na ang mundo na masayahin kang tao..at ala nang ginawa kundi ang tumawa, magkwento at patawanin ang iba..kasi, you tend to keep wat’s really going on inside u..you have to smile despite the fact that you’re in pain.."it’s just a make believe."

i’m starting to perfect the art of "pretending." i laf but deep inside….?

what realy s a strong person?
sorry to bother you guys with this question..please don’t ask me ‘coz i don’t know..

same…

just to extend my thank you…etc…

luking bak…

one morning, i woke up and was greeted by my dad a morning message while playing cards in the sala.."gud morning balasang ko" as my dad would always say.

it was a typical morning for both of us. i prepared for work leaving my dad in the sala while enjoying his "solitaire." i waived my bye-bye to him not knowing that it would be the last time of seeing my dad in the morning..

the nyt came, i received a col coming from my dad’s co-worker saying that daddy was rushed to the hospital "coz he was side swiped by a passenger jeepney while crossing and on his way to work..the least i could do that time is to col my dad’s name.."daddy!!!!!" i was crying while shouting "daddy!" i was trembling and can never speak a word aside from "daddy."

together with my mom, we rushed to the hospital and saw my dad lying in the hospital bed catching his breath while medical apar2s was ol around him. it was the only thing that’s keeping my dad alive..he can’t even open his eyes, can’t even move his fingers, can’t even murmur a word..he was badly hurt..this was what the doctor said to my mom.."were giving your husband negative chances of surviving the accident..he’s badly hurt." hearing those words, i turned to my dad and whispered.."we love you daddy." i saw the tears falling from my dad’s eyes..i  knew then that, my dad heard what i whispered..

3 hours before midnight, we were looking for blood donors for daddy..blood was coming out from his mouth..and according to the doctor, it’s his broken ribs that’s causing the blood to come out from my dad’s mouth..can’t say anything..i just cried while holding my dad’s  hands while my mom was silently staring at my dad..luckily, we got the blood needed..the operation started at around 10 in the evening..while the operation was going on..everybody prayed..4 a.m., daddy was transferred to the i.c.u…

the next day, oct 4, my dad passed away…he left without even opening his eyes even for the last time..we haven’t got a chance to listen to his voice..he just stopped breathing..

yup…it’s been a year since my dad left…it’s been a year of waking up and missing "gud morning balasang ko."

i miss the nights when we used to wait for daddy to come home from work..at times, i’d wake up only to see him in the sala watching tv or a vcd/dvd..i miss those times…

i miss my dad’s smile and lafters..i miss everyting abt him..he used to ask me to cook for the family..if ever i find time, i kuk adobo for him..he loves my adobo..tnx to my tita hu taught me her adobo recipe.."kare-kare," reminds me of my dad…cigarette also reminds me of him ..everything in the house reminds me of him..

if only i could turn bak time, i’d spend every second of my life with my daddy..in my prayers, i ask for just a moment just to be with my dad..and i guess, god is so good that He grants my prayers..y? ‘coz i have my dad in my dreams..in the middle of the nyt, i just open my eyes and cry becoz i had a moment with my dad in my dreams..do i sound like a kid? nope..my dad is always with me in my dreams..

to my dad, i thank God that you’re my father…

i will always be grateful for the love..care..inspiration..wisdom..guidance.. smile..lafter..you’ve shared..

you may not be around greeting me "gud morning balasang ko" but, i feel in my heart dat u’r always around watching mom, my two brothers and ur "balasang" as we wait for the day that we finally see each other again..

i can’t help but cry everytime i remember you daddy…until wen? 2morow, next week? next month? next year? i don’t know…

i miss you daddy…
we love you so much…

let me share with you a forwarded txt message from a friend…
it’s an eye opener…hmmmm…nope it’s a heart opener..hahahaha!

love is full of irony, as they say…
we can never say it’s over and it’s final…
there wil always be "it could have been, what if, i should have done this and that etc…"